Sober living and what that means for me

Welcome to the blog.

Ever since I stopped drinking in 2023, I have wanted to journal the changes in my life that have resulted from making that change.

If it helps one person, it's worth it

I've consumed a fair amount of self-help literature and content over the last few years. One recurring slogan I've heard from many writers/creators is:

"If it helps one person, it's worth it"

And this is something I have tried to take on board myself, which really leads me here.

Perhaps it sounds a bit self-righteous... and maybe it is.

However, the responsibility that comes with adopting that mindset also helps to hold oneself more accountable, which will help me stay true to myself and hopefully keep on course with living a healthier lifestyle.

Back to the beginning

I come from a family of drinkers.

I don't know about you, but in Coventry, where I grew up, whether in the more deprived area of Longford or in the posh suburb of Finham. Relaxing and having a good time seemed to = drinking.

I was probably around 6 or 7 years of age when I tried my first drink.

I'd come downstairs early on a Saturday morning and finish off any cider my dad had left in his glass from the night before, and swig the remaining contents of the bottle of Olde English/ Blackthorn/ Strongbow.

It wasn't a lot, but it was regular, and I think that is where I developed a taste for it.

By the age of 12/13 I'd be sharing a bottle of cider with my Dad while we were watching the Friday night football on Sky Sports.

By 16, I was going out regularly and drinking escalated as it did for the majority of my peer group at that age. I became one of those lads who didn't know when to call it quits.

• I'd pour vodka into my eye.
• Drink the random green stuff in Spain.
• Always get the last round in.

As someone who has always been a bit of an introvert, drinking loads made social situations easier to deal with.

In my mind, it was the great equaliser.

It was never the social hack I thought it was; to this day, I can't recall a true friend I have made while out on the drink.

In my experience, those drunken best mates are often people you avoid in the aisles of Aldi later in life. Maybe that's just me.

When I got to 18, drinking alcohol very nearly became a dependency. I've never really needed a drink. However, I think those Central Lancashire University days were the closest I ever came to being an alcoholic.

Age 20 to 39

For the most part, the next 19 years were pretty much the same. Granted, the 20s would have seen heavier weekend drinking. Generally, though, I would say that I would be drinking most weekends, Friday + Saturday, and you could sprinkle an additional few drinks in during the week.

4 cans or a bottle of wine while watching the football midweek, for example.

The nature of the weekend drinking would be classed as binge drinking for sure.

• 6, 7, 8 pints of lager
• A few vodkas or jaegers

That kind of thing.

Birthdays and Christmas would often mean all-day drinking. That, to my mind, was how you celebrated such an occasion.

Drinking never kept me off work or threatened my relationships with my wife and children.

So why stop?

Drinking may have never threatened my relationships, but it never helped them, either.

I knew that I was not the best parent I could be when hungover.

I knew I was not the best partner I could be when alcohol influenced my weekends.

I felt really unhealthy.

I'd become the heaviest I had ever been at nearly 20st (127 KG), and it was affecting my sleep; snoring due to being too fat was making my sleep awful, so I was more lethargic in the day, therefore I was making poor meal choices, and it was just a vicious cycle.

Something had to change, and I knew that drinking alcohol affects your sleep in a big way.

So I decided I was going to stop drinking for a while.

899 days later, and I haven't felt like going back to drinking.

I tracked my alcohol free days as I still do, on the https://www.drinkaware.co.uk/ app. It's a good resource if you are considering giving up the booze, if only for a temporary break.

What next?

I'll follow this up with some more posts about my pursuit of a healthier lifestyle, and more journaling about living a Drink Free lifestyle.

Thanks for reading. If you want to ask questions, please message me on Instagram or Bluesky, and I'll be happy to help where I can.

Also, feel free to follow me on Strava. I'm not having a great year so far; I've fallen behind the curve on my distance target for the year. I've got a lot going on, though, with a forthcoming move to Australia happening within the next month.

So I'm not beating myself up too much.